Resolute! {and what to do with your sensory seeker}

Because I was consistently a day late and dollar short last year Because I need to rage against the machine, last June I made mid year resolutions instead of new year resolutions. But I haven't checked that list in some time. So long in fact that when I sat down to think about changes I want to make in this year, I couldn't even remember what was on the old resolution list.  The act of visiting that post bought both pride and shame, so here it is on record, how I shaped up:

Goal: Meditate/pray/read scripture every day, even if for just a few minutes.
Grade:C-
Prognosis: needs to make it back on the list


Goal: Go to bed before 1am three nights a week.
Grade: B+
Prognosis: I am much better at sleeping. I accomplish so much less which drives me completely crazy because sleep feels lazy to me, but somehow I know I should rest. Hubs is relieved I am acting like a normal human. I am behind on everything.
 
Goal: Physical Therapy exercises 5x a week until strong enough to start real exercise
Grade: B. I did physical therapy and I found it did not help that much. I got frustrated. Quit. Didn't exercise for five months. But now I just choose to not heed knee pain and I work out anyway and in some small way, working through the pain and building muscle to support the knee seems to be helping.  I work out four or more days a week right now, which is up from zero so I am satisfied.

Goal: Get down on floor and play with kids for at least 25 minutes every day.
Grade: C+  I do it more than I did, but it is sporadic. There is still room for improvement here.
Prognosis: implement more structured play to help me stay focused: like instruments, leading a game, initiating a craft, start a game of indoor soccer, etc.

Goal: Start singing again. And play my violin more. 
Grade: D and goal hereby removed from list. To everything there is a season. I am not in the season to be a performer. It makes me sad but it is a fact. I have however brought my violin almost every week to a church nursery school I teach and play song time with the kiddos. Every once in awhile I sprinkle Bach amid the Twinkle Twinkle and Wheels on the Bus, just because, hence the D instead of F.

Goal: Choose one day a week where I will not check email, blog or FB while kids are awake.
Grade: F+  I may have done this once but maybe not. Do I even want to do this? I probably should

Goal: Organize, update, and improve our emergency preparedness items.
Grade: B- I did compile an exhaustive and comprehensive first aid kit which is in a sealed plastic tote in an easily accessible place stored near several flashlights, back up batteries, long burning candles, matches, etc to be ready in case of emergency. However, I have not updated food storage and water solutions. I would like to have more food storage and water purification tablets on hand for ya know, a rainy day or Armageddon.

Goal: Accomplish one sewing project a month.
Grade: A+ I started a business that involves regular sewing, and I have created countless skirts for Samantha, pjs for Cookie, blankets, doll clothes, a pillow, have done repairs to mine and kids' clothes. I love my sewing machine and enjoy the creativity it affords.

2011 Goal: Finish researching, developing and implement home education curriculum for Kindergarten for Samantha.
Grade: A
Prognosis: Homeschooling continues to get better and better as I add to the curriculum and tweak it. First grade is gonna rock. Cookie Monster is in on the action now and having a ball.

2011 Goal: Go blueberry, strawberry, peach and apple picking this year. Learn to can and or make jam.
Grade: B-  I only accomplished the strawberry jam, but it was diverting and delicious and I hope as the little people get easier to manage each summer I will do this more.

2011 Goal: Consciously eat less sugar.
Grade: C
Prognosis: I fluctuate. Whatever.

I must add to this list a few more for 2012.

Say No when I cannot do something. And by cannot, I mean I need to realize sometimes should not = cannot. I tend to believe myself capable of anything and go towards proving myself right, and so should not needs to have more power for me.

Throw away ten things a week. Toys, clothes, kitchen items, magazines, broken stuff. Slow but meaningful purging will keep me sane. To keep me on task I occasionally will force myself to watch Hoarders which sends me into a frenzy of cleaning panic and a trip to the basement to clean out the cat's litter box one extra time.

Increase the exercise a leetle bit more. I have jeans that don't fit and I want to fit in them.

Work on therapeutic parenting.  Not because I think we are living in a house full of attachment disorders, but more because I believe every kid deserves the kind of mom that doesn't make their anxiety worse.  I believe every kid deserved a parent that makes them feel afraid, well, never. Less anger and annoyance in my reactions. More eye contact, more positivity, more examples of calm living, less stressful reactive parenting. Find and use consequences instead of threats. This blog is chock full of good ideas. Less emotion, more love from me, is that even possible? It has to be because I hate my moments of ineffective parenting. I have lots of good moments too, but not enough I am afraid.  Hubs and I are starting a training course on therapeutic parenting and I will be excited to report any tidbits of brilliance we learn.

Final Goal of 2012: I see myself one way, and I am learning oh-so-humbly that the way I present myself to others doesn't always reflect my self description. I want to be a kinder, gentler, more patient version of myself. I think if a room full of my friends were polled about me they might use words like "energetic" "entertaining" "busy" "crazy" "creative" "social" but really, if I could pick how I wanted people to define me, it really would be loving, positive, compassionate, kind, non-judgmental. Gulp. I have my work cut out for me.

And just because you stuck around for this self-indulgent post, here is a tip for you who have kids who have intense sensory needs: Give your baby the vacuum. It provides heavy work to tire him or her out, and he or she might actually pay you back for one of the many many messes he or she makes. Tsega loves this chore and he's two. You're welcome.


Do you have any goals that are just now crystallizing as the year moves into the second quarter?  Do you give your toddlers chores?  Do you struggle with coming across how you mean to?